


Somehow, each of us will help the other live

by webofdreams89



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: F/F, Pining, Waiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:52:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2282511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/webofdreams89/pseuds/webofdreams89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jessica's brain returned yet again to that soft look Carol gave her right before she said good-bye, that look in her eyes that would have been seemed out of place for Carol to anyone that didn’t know her as well as Jessica did.  Then Carol and pulled her close, enveloping her in her strong arms, and whispered, “I’ll be back for you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somehow, each of us will help the other live

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Adrienne Rich's Twenty-One Love Poems. And the prompt comes from thefingerfuckingfemalefury who asked for a "fluffy femslash fic about Carol and Jess’s first night together again after Carol returns to earth". It turned into a lot more feelings than what I was originally going to write. Also, this is my first Jessica/Carol fic even though they're a pairing I've loved for a while. I hope I did alright with it. :)

Jessica was bored.  It’s just that, well, there had been so much going on lately and now there was this huge lull that gave her too much time to just sit around and think. 

Action, she was good at that even if there were times her brain screamed at her for it, told her to run as far and as fast away as she could.  She’d gotten better at trying to keep her brain at bay, keeping busy helped with that, but now with all this quiet surrounding her, Jessica didn’t know what to do.  So she started to dwell.

And hell, there was a lot in her past she could dwell on – that seemed to come with being an Avenger – her parents, Hydra, S.W.O.R.D., all the mistakes she’s made since then.  The list was long and it made her flinch a little. 

Instead, her brain returned yet again to that soft look Carol gave her right before she said good-bye, that look in her eyes that would have been seemed out of place for Carol to anyone that didn’t know her as well as Jessica did.  Then Carol and pulled her close, enveloping her in her strong arms, and whispered, “ _I’ll be back for you._ ”

She’d been waiting a long time to hear that from Carol, ever since she realized that Carol understood her like no one else ever had and that everything between them had been leading up to something a little more than friendship.

Then Carol went into space to help save the universe or something, and all Jessica’d been doing since then was waiting. 

It wasn’t Carol’s fault, Jessica _knew_ that, but it didn’t make it any easier being the one left behind either.  Months had passed and Jessica tried to keep busy with missions and watching the   
TV shows she and Carol always used to marathon together.  She even had that spa day with Natasha which had been kind of fun before it got interrupted by another disaster.

She was trying, but the days were getting long and her nights were getting lonely.  She missed Carol like she missed breathing.

Glancing at the clock on the wall, Jessica saw that it was only 9:14, probably too early to turn in, but she was suddenly so exhausted that she didn’t care.  She stood up from her chair and was halfway to her bedroom when she heard a knock on the door.  Jessica groaned, hoping that it wasn’t Clint needing a place to lie low for a bit after doing something stupid again. 

That gasp that wrenched itself from her chest when she looked through the peephole and saw that it was Carol was sharp in her throat and loud enough that Carol stilled.  Jessica quickly unlocked the door and threw it open hard enough that it bounced off the wall and simply stared at the woman before her. 

The copious crushing emotions tearing through her at once made her want to sob, to scream, to laugh, but all she could do was breath harshly and stare, her hand gripping the doorway hard enough that it made the wood groan under her fingertips.  Carol’s eyes flickered down to her hand and back up to Jessica’s face before she took a step back, indecision spreading across her face.

“Do you want me to go?” Carol asked softly, her weight shifting as if getting ready to hightail it out of there. 

Panic flared inside Jessica because _no,_ Carol leaving was the opposite of what she wanted.  She gulped deeply and tried to say something meaningful like how much Jessica had missed her, anything to get her to stay, but instead said, “You didn’t have to knock, you know.”

Carol blinked at her a few times before that knowing grin of hers, the one Jessica loved directed at her because she could feel it down to her toes, blossomed on Carol’s face.  “I lost your key during a fight out in space,” Carol explained, taking a slow, small step closer like she was afraid of scaring Jessica off. 

Jessica tried to wrap her head around _that_.  Carol had carried the key to Jessica’s apartment with her into battle like it was something special, important.  It made some semblance of composure seep through Jessica and she smiled back haughtily, her grip on the doorway loosening until she leaned casually on it. 

“Like that’s ever stopped you before, Danvers.”

Carol’s smile widened and she stepped closer until she was right up in Jessica’s face, the extreme heat from her body making Jessica feel like she was standing out in the sunlight. 

“You’re probably right about that,” Carol said.  She raised her hand and lightly ran her fingertips down the side of Jessica’s face, making Jessica shiver.

“Fuck you, Carol,” Jessica said without heat.  She grabbed Carol’s shirt, twisting her fist into it, and dragged Carol inside.

Jessica shut the door and turned around, readying a quip that died on her tongue when she saw the way Carol stood there in her living room like she was about ready to crack open and spill out, finally coming down from whatever victory-high she’d been riding until she felt safe enough to crash.  Jessica knew that almost everyone saw Carol as someone that was tough, steady, unbreakable.  Knew that was what Carol wanted them to see, but Jessica knew better.  Whatever Carol had seen or done on her mission had really gotten to her and she needed comfort right now, and Jessica had been the person she turned to for it.

She was grateful for that.

Jessica closed the distance between them this time, wrapping herself up in Carol as tightly as she could, trying not to love the feel of Carol pressing into her too much while Carol needed something different from Jessica at the moment.  Tentatively, Carol wrapped her arms around Jessica too before she squeezed her tightly and buried her face in Jessica’s neck just as the sobs began to wrack through her body. 

They stood like for nearly ten minutes before Carol finally stilled.  “God, I really missed you, Jess,” she said, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck.  “So fucking much.  You’re the only thing that got me through it.”

Whatever _it_ was, they could talk about that later, when Carol was ready.  Right now, Jessica waited out the fluttering in her stomach and the way that her breath caught at Carol’s words, and said, “I waited for you.”  Carol pulled back enough that she could look at Jessica, her hand reaching up to caress the side of her face. 

“Yeah?” Carol asked, smiling again even through swollen red eyes.

Nodding, Jessica leaned up and pressed her lips to Carol’s, kissing her.  The kiss wasn’t explosive or mind-numbing or anything like that – they had plenty of time for that later, even later tonight – but soft and a little sweet, just what they needed at the moment. 

Jessica deepened the kiss a fraction and Carol trembled in her arms, making this wrecked noise in her throat.  Jessica pressed a little harder and said into Carol’s lips, “I’d have waited forever for you, Carol Danvers.”

 


End file.
